Questions?????

"The yearning to know what cannot be known, to comprehend the incomprehensible, to touch and taste the unapproachable, arises from the image of God in the nature of man. Deep calleth unto deep, and though polluted and landlocked by the mighty disaster theologians call the Fall, the soul senses its origin and longs to return to its source."
— A.W. Tozer

The more I seek God the more questions I find myself asking. Alot of the time people seem to run from questions. Maybe it's that they already know the answers and the answers scare them. Maybe it's that the answers would require them to change. I'm not sure, but I like questions. Although, the more questions I try to answer, the more questions I find myself asking. I know when I begin to think about questions I begin to search for truth. I no longer settle for the answer coming from someone's mouth, but from the Truth Himself.  God is not afraid of our questions. I think He welcomes them. Questions should come naturally in our pursuit of Him! The couple walking down the isle didn't just grab one another randomly off the street! No, they spent hours upon hours talking and asking questions...getting to know one another. The same thing applies in our relationship with God. What would our walk look like if we really treated God as a person we were in a relationship with? What would happen if we really pursued Him? Talked with Him? Loved Him? Got excited about spending time with Him? Let Him in on the ins and outs of our day?

I don't know about you, but I'm moving into a relationship with God. I refuse to let Him just be the "wizard of oz" who is far away and just "policing" my life. I want to spend time with my Father. I want to pursue Him. I want to make time for Him. I want to get to know Him more. I'm including Him in my life.

God is not afraid of my questions. He knows that in searching for truth it brings me closer to Him. Father loves for his children to come running with questions! I know I will never be able to fully answer all of those questions in my finite search, but I will still seek for answers. It's exciting to know more about Father and His plans. The good thing is that there will always be more to know about Him!!!

“Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!” (Ro 11:33)

“Can you probe the limits of the Almighty? They are higher than the heavens—what can you do? They are deeper than the depths of the grave—what can you know? Their measure is longer than the earth and wider than the sea” (Job 11:7, 8, 9)

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The questions I've been mulling over are:

• Who is God?
• What does He think of me?
• What does a christian look like?
• What does the church look like?

"He said, “The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of God has been given to you, but to others I speak in parables, so that,“‘though seeing, they may not see; though hearing, they may not understand. Luke 8:10

So, in my search for truth I'm going to first learn about my Father.I'll be studying His attributes and asking lots of questions!

 Who is God?

"What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us."
— A.W. Tozer

"We can never know who or what we are till we know at least something of what God is."
— A.W. Tozer

I love my Father and my Father, He loves me!

I've been thinking alot about the Father lately. We sometimes limit Father by comparing him to our earthly fathers. Even if we've had the best or the worst earthly father it is still wrong to compare him. Yes, to have a father reflect Father's love is a glimpse of who Father is, but it cannot define him. There is much more to Father than what we know or think.

I cannot think about Father and not think about love. Father has done so much for us all just because He loves us. I sometimes think that we get so focused on trying to accept His love that we forget to first love Him. Without loving God first, we can't understand his love for us.

1 John 4:8(NIV)

⁸ Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

1 John 4:7
[ God’s Love and Ours ] Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

If God is love, we must first know God. We get to know Father through loving Him. I love John Eldredge's take on it as he references Tozer:

"God wants to be loved. He wants to be a priority to someone. How could we have missed this? From cover to cover, from beginning to end, the cry of God's heart is, "Why won't you choose Me?" It is amazing to me how humble, how vulnerable God is on this point. "You will . . . find me," says the Lord, "when you seek me with all your heart" (Jer. 29:13). In other words, "Look for me, pursue me -- I want you to pursue me." Amazing. As Tozer says, "God waits to be wanted." John eldredge

Father is not just asking you to come to Him to be saved, but to be with Him; to love Him. The more you're around Him the more you know Him. The more you know Him, the more you love Him. Then as you fall in love with Him you are able to accept His love. This opens the door for Father to do so much work in your heart, soul, mind, and emotions. The part of you that is so intimate that your closest friends have no idea of the pain, hurt, or sadness. 

When's the last time you got excited about just spending time with Father? When is the last time you just sat at His feet and listened? When is that last time that you really longed to be with Him, to know Him deeper?

We've been so guilty of looking at Father as an object or a means to an end. What would happen if we began to look at Him as Father and not as the Father. When I think of saying "The Father" it tends objectify Him; to address Him through his position such as saying "The President". Although this is not wrong, what if we changed our mindset and thought about Father. Father is who he is. It's more intimate for me to call Him just by who he is.  Get to know Father, spend time just loving on Him and then listen. He'll tell you His secrets.

Love on Father, He's been loving on you!

"Abiding in the love of God is our only hope, the only true home for our hearts. It's not that we mentally acknowledge that God loves us. It's that we let our hearts come home to him, and stay in his love." John Eldredge

Deuteronomy 6:5
Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

Deuteronomy 7:9
Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments.

Ephesians 3:19
and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

He endured so we could persevere!

Just a quick thought....

He endured so we could persevere!!

As I'm reading through Hebrews the Lord begins to connect the dots on a few things...He endured the cross so that we could persevere. If we look at endurance it means to stand in one place while everything else is chaotic. Think of a tree that remains after the winds of a hurricane have ripped other trees out by their roots. If we look at perseverance as moving beyond where we are despite the chaos surrounding us. An example could be that one little flower that grows where it looks to be only sand. He endured the cross not so we could just get by, but that we could go beyond!! That's why having faith and believing in God is not just us stepping into the unknown. It's knowing the circumstances and it's knowing what could be. However, (the most important part) we know and believe what God's word says so we proclaim that! Just as Noah did with the ark. His plans and goals were not based on what the things around him looked like nor what people around him said. It was based on God's word! He was not only able to save himself, but his family as well. That is the abundance. Just as in John 14 verse 12, we are reminded once again that we will do greater things that He did, because He endured!!! So, when you're going through things don't just endure, but begin to persevere! You have to push beyond.

 "You can't steal second, with your foot on first!"

John 14:12-14

¹² Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. ¹³ And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. ¹⁴ You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

Hebrews 12:1-11

 ¹ Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, ² fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³ Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

God Disciplines His Children

 ⁴ In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. ⁵ And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,
   “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
   and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
⁶ because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
   and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”^[a]
 7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? ⁸ If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. ⁹ Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! ¹⁰ They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. ¹¹ No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

"Falling in love with Jesus was the best thing I ever did!"

     Today was Celebration Sunday at church. This is a time for worship, baby dedications, testimonies, and baptisms. I do have to say my two favorite parts are testimonies and baptisms. Testimonies are so awesome because you feel like part of a miracle and it builds your faith! My most favorite time is baptism. I know is seems like an old tradition, but the meaning of it has so much depth. (*pun intended and not intended! haha) As I sit there and watch each person getting baptised, I'm reminded of so many things that it's overwhelming. I remember where I came from and where the Lord has brought me and even the growth I've experienced. But at the same time, as a seasoned christian I see this time as a launching pad for that person. I begin to feel an overwhelming sense of goodness and greatness inside of them that the Lord will begin or has begun inside of them. It often makes me cry like a baby!! And I'm not even much of a crier!
      So, today as I was watching people of all ages get baptised I began to think. Yes, I know that sounds scary! But, just keep following me! :)  I was thinking what I would say to those who are new to following Christ.  The three things I came up with were love, hope, and purpose. Of course, I would tell them that this road isn't always easy and sometimes we mess up, but it's completely worth it.  That reminds me of John Mark McMillan's song "How He loves us". There's a line that says " I don't have time to maintain these regrets". That's been hitting home with me a lot lately. I don't have time to sit here and regret the choices I made to follow Him. It seems the older I get the  more I face this. I begin to question myself, my beliefs and all the while the whole world seems to question me. I can't entertain these regrets! I chose Him because He first choose me. I don't regret my choices,because frankly I love Him that much. I love Him more than anything! It will always be Him above anyone and anything else. The moment He isn't, is the moment I've lost focus. It's just a distraction of the enemy to detour your pursuit of Him. ........(Bunny caught...now moving back to the subject at hand) :)
     So back to this concept of Purpose, Love, and Hope......
Purpose. Sometimes I wish I could let people feel what I feel....If for just a moment they could feel Holy Spirit inside of me doing His work. We're all looking for a sense of belonging of fitting in or of finding our place. It's basically the fact we're looking for a reason to live. I know that sounds morbid, but it's true. Everyday we wake up for a reason.  Some people wake up for a paycheck or for their kids or their family or even for themselves....And at some point those things or people become not enough......You lose your job, a family member dies, you disappoint yourself........something happens and your expectations are not met. When this happens a person feels empty and lost. This is where the difference comes in. When your purpose is defined completely by God, there is life no matter what circumstances come your way. Yes there are challenging days and days of doubt, but the trust is there that you still have a purpose. Some days you may not even understand what that purpose is. This purpose is a supernatural  purpose...meaning, it goes beyond what is naturally occurring. This purpose can't be taken from you  no matter what the enemy or circumstance looks like....Although, you can choose to deny it or give it away. Sometimes I wish people could understand that purpose doesn't always mean what you do for a living or even for ministry. Yes both of these are aspects of purpose, but there's more.....We were made to worship Him.. If we live a life of purpose, then what we do for a career and or ministry will always be us fulfilling our purpose!  So scream with me " I am meant for great things!!!" Now the key to this is in defining greatness using kingdom greatness....not greatness according to the world's standards.
     LOVE. If God is love then he defines love. Anything less than sacrificial love is not love at all! That is a bold statement, but true.  When you experience the love of  God is an amazing feeling of completeness, wholeness.....it's a love that you don't have to work for.....gentle yet strong......and with love comes mercy and forgiveness.....These are very hard concepts to try to understand...that's why it's important that we just accept these. I don't believe we'll ever be able to understand the depth, height, or depth of God's love! The fact is we're humans who are fallen beings.....the concept of God's love is beyond our comprehension...However, I do believe we can explore the meaning, but whatever we come up with to define God's love will never fully encompass it's meaning. Think of it this way.....we can see what's in front of us and what's beside us with our vision....there is stuff to see behind us...we know it's there, but we can't see it with our eyes.........we know God's love and experience it.....but there's more to it than that.  I love the old hymn that says "The love of God is greater far than tongue or pen can ever tell". I can't talk about love without talking about discipline. If a stove is hot a parent will teach the child not to touch the stove.....God is the same way....He has to sometimes discipline us or even keep (what we think are) good things from us because he sees the whole picture....but it's in surrendering to all of His love no matter what form....that we find this complete love that fills every void.
     Hope. This is the thread that ties purpose and love together. Hope is another term that can only be defined through the kingdom. See in the natural hope is dependent upon circumstance. In the supernatural, hope is dependent upon God!! There are days when I feel lost, but deep down within my soul the Holy Spirit ignites this hope that my circumstance does not define me....what I've done or who I've been does not define me....God defines me....and though as Paul said " I may not have attained that, I press on towards that goal"...paraphrasing there..........This hope carries me through when I don't understand what my purpose is....or when I don't understand love as discipline...It's hope that makes me able to let go of regrets...to endure hard times.....to learn difficult lessons......and most importantly to share the Love of God!! This hope does not run when life gets hard....or people die.....or dreams shatter.........This hope causes me to do more than just endure....It causes me to preserve! Endurance is just standing still in your circumstance.....but God has called us to become "overcomers" to persevere which means to ...I'll let dictionary.com define this one...

"steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement."

     So to sum this all up.....I would tell them that there is so much more to falling in love with Jesus....It doesn't stop here...but it starts here!

long time no write..........

Yes folks....I'm starting this blog back up......the Lord's been giving me things to say and I need to say them....well at least type them on here! :) haha ....Hopefully with the Holiday break coming I will have time to get out a few new blog entries!!!

Good Name vs. Bad Name

Don’t you just love it when you read a scripture and it just doesn’t make any sense at all. I know some of you are like “Is this girl crazy?”. Just think about it like this. If there were no mysteries to the Bible, then there would be nothing to discover in it. The Bible would be boring if it was completely straightforward. God wants us to not just read the Bible, but to really grasp a deeper meaning. For some reason or another, I have been thinking about a verse in proverbs. “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, Loving favor rather than silver and gold.”-Proverbs 22:1 This was one of my papa’s favorite verses. All of these years I’ve never really understood what this verse was really saying. I always wondered why it was even my papa’s favorite verse. I guess I wondered why a name was so important and who really decided if that name was good? And then I would think, is it my fault if I am not named a “good” name. All of these questions would go through my mind and continually make me wonder why this verse would even be included in the Bible. So as all of these questions were playing in my mind the other day, the Lord began to reveal to me what it means. This verse was so easily and simply explained in all of few seconds. It was like a light switch had been flipped, scattering the darkness. It just clicked and suddenly made sense. The Lord put it like this, what does your name represent?. And I replied with a slight hesitation, it represents who I am, …? And then He said, exactly!! I felt as though it called for a “Selah” moment; a moment to just let the revelation sink in. So, now read the verse and replace “a good name” with “who I am “. Who I am is to be chosen rather than great riches! Ok, so it still seems a little hazy. Let me explain it like this. Everyday we chose who we are. We are the ones who decide how we act, the words we say, and what we do. We are responsible for ourselves and our actions. The weight of this responsibility is that people are watching us day after day. They are measuring us up against what we believe and what we say we are. The good or bad is not determined by the sound of the name but by the example and content behind the name. This is why it is so important to chose a good name. All the money in the world cannot buy you a great character/witness. It is something that must be earned and worked at. So today, you have a choice, good name or bad name?...Selah

The Process

The process

“When I can’t see His hands, I can trust His heart”-unknown

For those of us who are really and truly seeking after the Lord seem to find ourselves from time to time in “the process”. It’s a time of purification and growth, of sowing and reaping, and of dying to flesh. When you find yourself in the midst of a process, it can be really hard and trying. However, upon realizing that you are actually in a “process”, it can take the pressure off. You realize that you are in the middle of God’s plan. It seems that He is only working in a small way, but in the long run you start looking back and you can’t help but stand in awe of what He’s done. I can look over my past and see the many times where I wondered if God was even there, and see how He was there and that He was setting me up for something even greater.

While I was in Cleveland, TN finishing school, I experienced God like I never have before in my life. I felt freedom, real freedom for the first time in my life. I also began to mature spiritually and learn how to function in a true community of believers. I learned how to love a city and pray for revival to come to it. The funny thing was, the revival had already begun in us. I felt like I was finally coming out of a process. I also learned how to start a process in Cleveland,. The Lord began to teach me to dig holes, meaning to sow prayer in a dry land. But, that wasn’t the end of my process.

I find myself yet again learning about the process. Fast forward three years later and I find myself at what would seem to be back at the beginning. After many attempts at finding a job in Cleveland, I moved back home. It was a very difficult move, but I trust that it was the Lord’s will. I felt like He needed me to come out from the comfort of my community of believers, so that I could learn to stand on my own as a leader. It was the whole mother bird pushes baby bird out of the nest and baby bird flies, cycle of life. Trust me; I left a piece of my heart in Cleveland. But, I know His ways are always higher than mine and I’m seeing that more and more. Through this phase of the process, I’ve definitely learned to give up my dreams and to pursue His.

For me, this process has been extremely difficult, but it’s the part that’s producing the most fruit. I believe I’m now learning to plant seeds. I’ve learned so much about ministry in the time I’ve been back. I’ve been given so many opportunities to plant seeds; from leading worship, teaching drama, teaching discipleship, and so much more. I love it!

You know when I think of process, I think of a puzzle. You see each individual piece: They are misshapen, multi-colored, and unrecognizable. But, as the pieces come together they turn into a work of art and the picture begins to make sense. So many times during the process we look at the puzzle piece and try to understand it, when the Lord is saying trust me, just wait to see the whole picture.

A danger of being in the process is simply becoming stale. It’s the concept of not blooming where you are planted. If you’re not growing you’re dying. When you are going through the process, it’s up to you to make the best of the situation. God doesn’t want us sitting around trying to think of ways to get out of the process or passing the days until it’s over. He wants us to embrace it, to bravely stand with our face towards the wind, willing to make the best of whatever is handed to us.

I’m not saying I’ve completely learned to do this, but I feel as though I am at a place where I’m learning. I know where I am is not where I want to be, but I know I have to go through the process. I’m making the best of where I am. I’m learning, growing changing, and most importantly embracing the process. It’s when we are most surrendered to Him during the process, that He is most able to use us.

I pray that you find hope and encouragement during your own process. Know that you are not alone. And most importantly know that He is worth it and He is with you.

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Here are some verses to meditate on:

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

—Romans 5:3-5

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

—Romans 12:12

Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains. You also, be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand.

—James 5:7-8

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

—James 1:2-4